For many years, I've wanted to write down all of the notes floating about my files, my head, my desk, on how parents and teachers dance this (often weird) dance that clearly affects the child's educational experience. It comes in many forms and I'll try to stick to just one big idea per post. I'm planning to write about both the positive and the negative, the deep and serious, and the lighter side of the Parent/Teacher Tango. I'm also creating an archive of writing and proof that this term, Parent/Teacher Tango is MY idea... OK, that was really possessive of me and I'll try not to do it again.
Although I am thinking of my audience as parents, I certainly hope some teachers and administrators also tune in and share their thoughts. Teamwork is key. I'm sure I'll repeat that line over and over because it is important. Teamwork is key. See, I already did it.
So, here we go!
First Topic -- Why is this blog needed?
There is a lot of egg-shell walking going on in schools across the universe. My guess is that there are Martian Moms complaining to Venitian (mixed-marriage) Dads that the teacher just doesn't understand little Xqjig and is "out to get him." I also assume there are Plutonian Teachers complaining to one another that the parents of Vvvghi-po "think she's so amazing and perfect but she's just normal!" The problem is that in both Xqjig's and Vvvghi-po's parent-teacher communications, everyone was polite, they exchanged niceties but never was the conversation able to get to the real issues because both parents and teachers danced the dance and didn't communicate effectively.
In addition, there are many teachers learning all they think they need to know about a student from other teachers or kids, and parents learning all they think they need to know about teachers, administrators, or the school from the other parents (Four Agreements, People, Don't Assume! Ask directly...)
The bottom line is that your positive, effective, authentic, and thoughtful participation in your child's education will change their experience in school and, therefore, their development and, therefore, their life! How many of us can trace a challenge in life back to an experience in school?? How many of us can trace a benefit in life to an experience in school??
Keep in mind - Teachers don't do their job for the fame or money (hey! that's a good topic for the second posting) they do it for many other reasons but chief among them is that they like working with your kids and they are passionate about education.
To be completely transparent, I'm a developmental psychologist, which means I study human change from conception to death, and my research has been on Positive Youth Development. I do not believe anyone has to develop negatively. Being poor or rich, pretty or ugly, green or orange, one-parent, two, or none... nothing has the final say on how you develop. I believe this to be true for children, adolescents, and adults. We never stop developing until we take our final breath.
You may disagree with me or think I'm a Pollyanna (poor kid, what did she do to get that rep?) and, if so, feel free to write your own blog about how people are doomed because their parents divorced or they were born too rich or they have ears that stick out. I won't agree with you but we can co-exist peacefully.
Until next time,
Daisy
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